Toy Review: Cobra Paratrooper

Rise of Cobra Paratrooper

It’s been a real pain in the buttocks getting some of the GI Joe product lately. Like Transformers before it, GI Joe is booming. Thanks in large part to the recent movie and a new line of figures that enjoy the same increased articulation and sculpt as the 25th anniversary line, it looks like the GI Joe franchise is going to be around for at the very least a few more years.

The rise in popularity is both good and bad for us collectors. On one hand, we’re getting a deluge of product from Hasbro, who is milking this cash cow like… well, like Hasbro. We’re now seeing re-paints, re-tools, and kitbashes of older models to fill in the line. This includes both vehicles and figures. Some are pretty crappy (like the boring exclusive 2-packs) and a few are a vast improvement on the older ones.

The Cobra Paratroopper is one of the later. If you have the 25th anniversary figure, then you know what to expect here. There are really only three differences between the 25th Anniversary version and the Rise of Cobra movie version.

The first is a purely cosmetic retool. On the right thigh of the 25th Anniversary version, there’s a little doohicky-thingamajig. On his left there are two pockets that store clips. In the Rise of Cobra version, they’re switched. This presents a small problem because Hasbro, in all their infinite wisdom, didn’t switch the sheath for the knife that goes on the right lower leg. This means that the hilt of the knife constantly hits the two clips on the ROC version. A little thing that is annoying as all get out.

The second is the BFG that all Rise of Cobra figures now come with. This Ridoncoulously Huge Firearm is more ridoncoulous than the others I’ve seen. This is mostly because it is also supposed to be a Insanely Unlikely Flight-Pack of some sort. It’s got handles and helicopter blades and everything. There aren’t any instructions and it’s not really obvious how he’s supposed to use this idiotic gadget, but there it is. It’s also got a handle and a requisite projectile if you insist on using it as a Retardedly Ginormous Rocketlauncher.

The third difference is the most obvious and most welcome. The color.

Let’s face it, although the Paratrooper was a great sculpt and came with some nice accessories, they were ruined by the clown colors that Hasbro choose for him. The only time parachutists would be seen wearing purple, orange, and yellow would be during an air show. If you’re jumping from near orbit and opening low, then I sincerely doubt you want an outfit that screams “Here I am! Take me out!” You couldn’t even use his gear for other figures because it was so awful.

So when the Rise of Cobra version came out, most collectors were pretty psyched. Here’s that same great looking toy, but in nicely sinister black, grey, and red. Imagine having an army of these scary bastards raining down on you from on high. I’d piss myself.

Accessories on the new one are the same except for the aforementioned Idiotically Oversized Projectile Weapon. You get his parachute with the tubing, his helmet and removable googles, the harness for his legs, a sub-machine gun, a knife, flippers that can be stored behind his legs, and some kind of dumb looking sniper rifle with a stand and clip.

I tossed the rifle in my extra junk box immediately. It looks kind of awful and doesn’t really go well with a parachutist. No where to store it really. I like the fins, but I kind of wish that some of the extra pockets on his parachute could come off so he would look more in place with a bunch of Cobra Eels. Still, I can’t complain a lot since he looks so great as he is.

Overall, the Rise of Cobra Paratrooper is a great buy. His articulation may be a bit lacking due to his gear, but then for anyone who’s watched Band of Brothers on HBO, you know that’s the case with these guys. if you’re lucky enough to find him at retail, I suggest buying at least one for your collection.