Toy Review: Marvel Superheroes Happy Meal Toys

McDonald’s Marvel Superheroes
Happy Meal Toys!

Having learned my lesson about Happy Meal Toy collecting, I usually just buy the entire set in one go as soon as I know they’re out. Otherwise, you’re going to be stuck with every figure in a set EXCEPT the one that was sold out that first day. This often leaves me with 5 or 6 “Burger McDo” sandwiches (cheap sausage burgers with thousand island dressing) and roughly a liter of cola to consume. I’m kind of glad that McDonald’s lost the Disney license because otherwise I’d be doing this on a monthly basis which can’t be good for a body.

This time around, I only had to get 4 of them, which gives my stomach a break. The Marvel Superheroes Happy Meal toys are apparently another continent-exclusive set, with some figures showing up here, and some showing up in other areas of the globe. Maybe they’re all available in the US, but I’m too lazy to search the forum boards for that info, so I’ll leave that to you. All I know is that in the Philippines, we got The Hulk, Iron Man, Spider-Man, and Wolverine. The others (Captain America, The Thing, Human Torch, and Silver Surfer) didn’t make it. As far as I’m concerned, we got the better half.

Before I start, I’ll have to warn you that all of these figures have already been sold out for weeks. The Hulk was sold out two or three days after they showed up. If you want them, you’ll need to find them on eBay or find a McDo branch out in the boonies somewhere.

I’ll go from crappiest to coolest. Hello, Iron Man!

He’s way out of scale next to the rest of the toys (admittedly, not much of an issue to the target audience), smaller than the rest of them. He’s also sculpted in a very awkward pose that means there’s not much you can do with him display-wise. Either you need a flight stand for him, or you lay him down on a shelf.

His gimmick is a motor and wheels at his crotch. You put him on a desk, pull him back and he zooms away in a straight line. Bah. I don’t know about you, but it’s my opinion that this only works for toy cars. It would have been better if they had just put him in a firing pose as if he was shooting Repulsor blasts and then stick an LED in his palm. At least then he could interact with the others.

Spider-Man is only slightly better.

The gimmick on this one is even weaker than Iron Man’s. He’s got a magnet in his chest that is meant to allow him to stick to your refrigerator. I say, “meant to” because it DOES NOT WORK. The magnet is so weak that no matter how you pose his arms (set on swivel joints for some ridiculous reason) he tends to slide down the front of your fridge. The plastic is just too heavy for the itty-bitty magnet to support.

Then there are those ridiculous swivels. He’s got one on his neck and on each shoulder. The problem is, he’s posed in such a way that these joints are utterly useless. Plus, inexplicably, he has webs over his hands that look like they are meant to hold suction cups. There are none, which means he looks good only in that one position, which is crawling along some surface.

The reason he wins over Iron Man is that he looks pretty damn good in that position.

Wolverine, though, is worth it. He’s probably the best designed out of all of these guys, with a solid shelf presence, interesting pose and fun action feature, he’d have won out if not for Hulk’s sheer size.

He’s wearing his Astonishing X-Men costume here and is sporting an anime-esque look reminiscent of Joe Mad’s artwork. He’s probably got the most issues with paint since he’s basically half and half, so watch out. His action feature is pop-out claws controlled by a lever on the back. Flip the lever and presto! Bone claws! Push it back and they disappear. In. Snikt! In. Snikt! I was doing this for half a day.

Hulk also has a great action feature and his button is also on his back. Push it and he goes RAAAAUGGGHHH! and flexes his pecs.

Ok he doesn’t go RAAAAUGGGHHH! but you can’t help but say something to that effect when playing with him. There’s a nice snap to it when he pounds his ham fists together and they snap back into place crisply. He’s even scaled pretty well to match a Marvel Universe collection if you can get over his goofy cartoonish looks.

The only problem is that the back of his arms are empty. They basically just left it an empty shell with some cross braces honeycombing it. You can’t really see it if he’s displayed, but you won’t be able to turn him around. And again I suppose it’s not that big a deal to the toys core audience which is why it doesn’t really bother me. It’s definitely the winner and the one that I was on the lookout for when I bought these.

These are the best toys to come out of the MickeyD toy factories in quite awhile now and I’m glad I was able to complete a set. Don’t think I’ll be letting go of these babies anytime soon. Hopefully I’ll be able to find the other 4 someday as well.