Toy Review: The Ghost of Lobster Johnson

04/30/10

The Ghost of Lobster Johnson

Lobster Johnson is not a euphamism for the reproductive organs of crustaceans. He’s a character from the Hellboy comic universe, the ghost of a vigilante who worked the streets of New York in the ’30s. He was blown up in Austria fighting the Nazi threat (like he’s going to do anything else in that decade? “Hi, I’m Lobster Johnson and I fight against anti-science fundamentalists”). His ghost can make itself solid when he chooses to, and his gunfire can me deadly. He can also still burn his lobster claw emblem into his victims skin.

That’s probably malarkey to you if you don’t follow Hellboy. Personally, I think it’s one of the best comic series ever published, but then today I laughed at a fart joke. The comic gained enough of a following to spawn a pair of movies and several series of action figures by manufacturer Mezco.

This particular figure came out in 2005, a year after the first movie. It’s based on the original Mike Mignola drawings rather than the design of the movie characters, so there’s a certain blockiness to it. The regular version of the figure came with a radioactive brain (why not?) as well as Johnson’s pistol. This version however is the “exclusive” SDCC version.

I say “exclusive” (see the quotes?) because I bought this at CADS toy store in Virra Mall, Greenhills, which is over 7000 miles from the San Diego Comic Con. I don’t know how, but lately, a lot of the stores there have been getting some choice swag from that convention; the SDCC Voltron, the SDCC TMNT figures and April O’Neil, SDCC Warcraft figures, SDCC MU figures, etc. As a Philippine collector I’m glad of it. This one cost me only Php 800.00. Who knows how much it would have cost if I asked someone to buy it at the convention.

The box is pretty heavy duty as toy boxes go. It’s big and thick with only a modicum of any design. It’s got a big graphic of the comic art and that’s it. No fancy origami folds and cuts and what not. Also, no clamshell to cut open. Hoo-ray.

Of course, the pieces that CADS toystore had weren’t in pristine condition, so

On the inside, there’s a plastic tray. Again, it’s pretty sturdy and easy to open. Just slice through some tape and turn it over. Voila! he’s out. Sometimes I think toy companies make us pay extra just so we don’t have to deal with all the twist ties and rubber bands.

As you can see (or maybe not since I don’t have the regular figure), the difference between this one and the regular version is that he’s see through. Which is why it’s called THE GHOST OF Lobster Johnson. Duh.

It’s a beautiful sculpt that captures the look of Mignola’s art perfectly. Frankly, he could have jumped straight off the page. Despite being translucent, the mold is very strong, allowing you to see details of the figure very clearly.

Paint is pretty much a non-issue, or should be since he’s only got some red on his googles and on his hand where you’ll find that claw emblem. You may not be able to see it in the picture, but the red paint doesn’t really match the register lines etched into the hand. Minor quibble, but as an exclusive, quality control should be high.

Of course I got it for Php 800, so who am I to complain?

His back is just as detailed as his front, with some choice gear hanging off his belt, and various seams and buckles and whatnot on his costume. It really is a pleasure to see how much work was put into this toy.

You will want to watch out though for another thing I found out about the figure after I’d opened it and was playing with it. If you’ll take a look at the picture above, you can see that it would seem that the hips are constructed like a Marvel Legends figure. This is not true. Modern Marvel figures have ball swivels with a post at each end; one post fitting into the thigh, the other going up into the torso.

This one shares the same ball and two post set up, but instead of fitting into the stomach, the ball joint is plugged into that tiny area of the crotch found between the legs. It’s just a bar of very weak plastic held in place by the crotch.

I don’t know if it’s the humidity in our country affecting the plastic, or the fact that these had been shipped all over and had taken a beating, but I had this bad boy out for 15 minutes when the leg slowly fell off at the crotch. A few hours later, the other leg fell off.

Thankfully, I was able to secure the pegs back in place with a little super glue (love super glue - I wonder what MacGyver never used the stuff) and they seem to be holding. I heard there’s a better way to do it, but I don’t really have the equipment to drill and saw and stick a screw somewhere. I’d rather not take the risk I’ll fuck up the toy or saw off my thumb.

This version doesn’t come with the brain, which is sad. It would have been nice if they had at least replaced it with something else. Lord knows there was enough space in that box. But at least we get Ol’ Lobby’s pistol.

The thing is an awesome piece of work. You really can’t see it here, but I love the thing to death. If I had soem that were black, I’d use it as the main side arm for all my GI Joe Sigma 6 figures. His right hand is molded to accept the pistol perfectly, so no worries there. It als fits right into the covered holster at his side. That’s a nice touch.

Probably the best thing about this toy is the near perfect articulation. He’s got all the joints a figure could need really, even ball/socket wrists. When have you ever seen that? Of course this means that you can see those thin posts that hold his gloves in place, but I just imagine he’s really thin under that jacket. He is a ghost after all.

Another great thing about it is that if fits in nicely with the rest of my Hellboy figures. The fact that he’s not supposed to be entirely human, plus the material he’s cast in, makes the thing work. I’m not entirely sure I could have said the same about the solid figure, or others like the comic version of Abe Sapien.

I doubt that they have any of these leftover at CADS, but I am glad I was able to get it when I did. It’s an excellent toy and worth the price if you can 1) find it at the right price and 2) make sure you get one that won’t fall apart.

Toy Review: Astray Red Frame KAI (MG)

04/24/10

MG Gundam Model Kit
Astray Red Frame KAI

I’d been wanting to get the Perfect Grade Gundam Astray Red Frame since I saw it about a year ago on various Japanese toy sites. Here was a giant robot that was equipped with a giant pair of katana to slice through other giant robots and deflect giant laser blasts. It was the Ginsu knife of the Gundam universe. It even had something called “clear parts” that were exclusive to that version.

Since I’m not one of those blessed with the ability to read Japanese I couldn’t read a lick of the text on the trade announcements of the new 1/60 scale figure. I turns out that the extra katana and those clear parts were only for the people who pre-ordered the model kit. I am Jack’s dissapointed fanboy heart. When it arrived at retail I heard the price. Php 12,000.00.

Yeah, right.

So I forgot about adding a Red Frame Astray to my collection. That is until I saw that they were coming out with a 1/100 Master Grade kit that included both clear parts and that second katana. I am Jack’s excited girlish squeeing.

Now before we get into the thick of this review, remember that this is a model kit and not technically a “toy”. The difference between the two is basically twofold. First, model kits are made mostly of polystyrene, a cheaper plastic than what most action figures are made of. There are other parts that are made of PVC and ABS plastic, but they’re usually for smaller parts within the frame. This means that you’ll need to be much more careful with a model than you are with a toy. They are absolutely NOT for kids and can break very easily.

Second is… well you remember that old line on some classic toys in the 80’s, “some assembly required?” Well, you’ll spend a day or more assembling a Master Grade figure the first time. Check this out:

That’s what’s in the box. It looks nothing like the pictures on the outside, does it?

Between the mess of parts and that awesome mecha are about 12-15 hours of cutting, snapping, testing, checking, matching, searching, and swearing. Since I’d been on the fence about getting into Gunpla (GUNdam PLAstic modeling) for a few months now, I’d done a lot of reading so was prepared, but anyone else should really ask if they really want to pay Php 3,500.00 for an 8″ figure that they still need to build from scratch.

I know right? Insane.

But then most nerdery is, isn’t it?

There are some great plus points to modeling when compared to toys. For one, there’s a level of detail you won’t find anywhere in the toy world, except maybe with the 12″ high end action figure industry. But then, one of those figures costs Php 7,000 to Php 10,000.

Because the material that Bandai uses for the model is cheaper, and because there isn’t any paint or assembly costs involved for them, there is a lot more attention to small details that other manufacturers just can’t approach. Take a look at the tangs on the two sword blades that come with the kit:

Yes, that is Japanese writing on the tang of each of the blades, the “Gerbera Straight” and the “Tiger Pierce”; signatures carved into the “metal” of the swords. I had a geekgasm when I saw this.

The rest of the completed figure has similar little add-ins that are a delight to find, from working pistons to double hinges and articulated hands. There’s even a stand that helps you post the robot.

You’ll have to start by remembering that age old Internet proverb; RTFM or READ THE F*CKING MANUAL.

It’s a must for any model maker, old or new. You could try and wing it, like I do with Transformers toys, but I promise you, you’ll end up skipping parts that aren’t obvious, like the placement of a polycap or something, and then you’ll be up sh*t creek without a paddle, having to backtrack and find out what you missed.

Trust me. I did it twice and I was READING THE F*CKING MANUAL.

After about 4 hours, you’ll end up with various parts of the frame of the Gundam robot. The Master Grade kits (high detail 1/100 kits that have increased articulation) are mostly made up of a base frame that sports the joint work and is covered with the various pieces of armor, sort of how a “real” Gundam robot would be build.

After another 3 hours, I had all the armor cut and prepared and then fitted on the frame. This whole process is rather tedious, but fun if you’re in the right frame of mind.

After I re-assembled the whole thing (another hour), I was the proud father of an 8″ baby Gundam.

The next 4 hours or so were spent assembling the the figure stand and all the accessories. It comes with a whole mess of swag.

Most of the pieces come from the MG version of the Astray Blue Frame Second Revise, which also had the “Tactical Arms II”. The Tactical Arms II is the backpack/weapons set that the Gundam carries. It takes on several forms as a support engine and as various weapons.

The set can be placed on his back in the V-form, Flight Form, or the Delta Form (a way of gathering energy for interplanetary travel using the fictional solar sail method of “Voiture Lumiere”).

Tactical Arms II V-Form

Tactical Arms II Flight Form

Tactical Arms II Delta Form

There are also various weapon modes for the Tactical Arms II:

Tactical Arms II Sword Form

Tactical Arms II Gun/Work Form

Tactical Arms II Sword Arm Form

The new version that comes with this set, called the Tactical Arms IIL, also includes an few new pieces to turn it into the new “Arrow Form” that can throw energy beams long distance. It’s a bitch to get into place, but it looks damn nice if you ask me.

Tactical Arms II Arrow Form

It’s all means that there’s a lot of ways to pose your Astray Red Frame should you decide to get one. By far, my favorite is still with the Gundam using the Gerbera Straight and Tiger Pierce, since that is why I originally bought it.

In the end, I don’t think I’ll be getting heavy into Gundams. It’s an even more expensive and time consuming hobby than action figure collecting is. I haven’t even started painting or applying the decals that come with the kit. There’s still the whole “panel-lining” thing to talk about.

However, there are definitely some models that I want to find. The Samurai-themed MG Shin Musha Gundam is one. The MG Blue Frame that this kit was based on is another. The Green Frame 1/100 scale… and the two HG Mirage Frames to complete the Astray set. Then maybe that chrome MG Unicorn Gundam. Not to mention the ones from the Gundam Wing series like the Gundam Heavyarms, Gundam Deathscythe Hell, Gundam Sandrock, Shenlong Gundam, and Wing Gundam Zero.

Oh, who am I kidding?

Movie Review: The Losers

04/23/10

The Losers

Ok. I’m going to say this once and then you are going to forget about it completely. This movie was based on a comic book series of the same name by Andy Diggle and a guy named Jock. Now forget about that.

What you need to know is that this is a throwback to the golden years of blockbuster action movies. That glorious time in the 80’s and 90’s before action movies became so brainless that they actually made your head hurt. Before Hollywood was invaded by the music video directors with the micro-sized attention spans. If you remember watching Arnie saying “You’re one… ugly… motherf*cker!”, or thought that Chuck Norris was awesome in Delta Force, then you stand a good chance of enjoying The Losers.

Being among that demographic, I thouroughly enjoyed my time in the cinema. While the movie won’t win any awards, it’s damned entertaining. That’s due largely to the fact that none of the cast, nor any of the filmmakers take this movie too seriously. The whole thing is a poke at a simpler time when movies were just supposed to be fun. It’s definitely whet my appetite and made me more excited about similar films due out this year like The Expendables and The A-Team.

The story’s your basic special forces team goes off-mission and gets double crossed by their boss and decides to get even ride. If you’ve seen Mission Impossible, then you know what’s happening here. There are 6 people on the team; Clay the leader (Jeffrey Dean Morgan), Roque his lieutenant (Idris Elba), Jensen the hacker (Chris Evans), Cougar the sniper (Óscar Jaenada), Pooch the driver (Columbus Short), and Aisha the hot chick (Zoe Saldana). They’ve got to get back to the States, find out who was behind their disavowment and make them pay.

At it’s core, The Losers is a heist film; it has more in common with the Italian Job or Sneakers than it does with any conspiracy movie. The team uses their various competencies in the various arts of covert ops to find Max (Jason Patric), the insane guy who tried to blow them up. They boost gear, con their way into buildings and do various other sneaky things in order to bring their plan to fruition.

The chemistry of the cast is very good. I loved Cop Out, but I didn’t for a second believe that Willis could ever be partners with Morgan. Here, the actors feel like old pals. Even Patric with is weirdly silly take on the psychotic Max is something that you can’t help by hate (which is good since you’re supposed to be rooting for him to take a bullet by the end).

I got to say I’m impressed with Chris Evans and am closer to thinking that he can also play Captain America. Though he’s normally cast as the pretty boy, he nerds up pretty well. He totally sold me on Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” as the perfect getaway soundtrack.

While the movie has some problems (hokey CGI effects, a weak last act, some weak plot devices, and horrendously saturated colors) it was an enjoyable 98 minutes and I’d gladly see it again.

Toy Review: Teela

04/22/10

Masters of the Universe Classics Teela

I’ve been putting off getting into Masters of the Universe Classics (MotUC) line since it came out. Though I’ve been a long time fan of the Masters of the Universe characters (longer in fact than I have been of Transformers), the fact that it’s only distributed online via MattyCollector.com was a big factor in my disregarding it. Though we do get the figures here in the Philippines, it’s usually already through secondary sources and the mark-ups are killer.

I normally see MotUC figures available at various stalls at Greenhills for Php 2,500.00. That’s roughly a whopping $55.00 at today’s exchange rate. You can see why I’m hesitant to tease myself. If my Collector’s Completist Compulsion gets going with this line, I’ll be up to my eyeballs in debt faster than you can say “Nordic Homoeroticism”.

So I promised myself I would only get a few figures. On the list were He-Man, Man-At-Arms, Battle Cat, possibly Skeletor and Trap-jaw, and Ram-Man. Oh, and Teela.

Teela was the Captain of the Royal Guard of Eternia. She was that crush worthy chick we saw on Saturday mornings who would yell at Adam and act totally sensible until she got stuck in some evil plot and had to be rescued by He-Man (Adam in a loin cloth for the uninitiated). The whole set-up was a nerd’s wet dream come true.

So when I saw this Teela going for only Php 1,850.00 (about $41.00) I decided I wasn’t going to find a better deal and forked over the cash.

The package is pretty nice if you’re into that sort of thing. It’s an oversized bubble on a small card. Since these aren’t meant to be displayed on shelves in a toy store, there aren’t any J-hooks on top. It’s a pretty space conscious design.

The figure is displayed nicely with a good view of the toy from the side as well as the front. If this was in a toy store, I’d say it would be easy to pick a figure with good paint, but since you’re stuck with whatever Mattycollector decides to ship you, forget it.

The card back has some of the other figures available, and the numbers are growing at 1 each month. In the States these are something like $20 per figure, plus $10 shipping or so, so you can see how this can get expensive very, very fast. There’s a blurb about who Teela is at the back, but I’m sure if you bought this figure, you already knew who she was. It would have probably been a better idea to give us some nice artwork instead.

There’s a tray inside the bubble which you can pull out once you open the package. Sadly, it’s not one of the toylines where you can re-use the box. Once you open it, it’s pretty much garbage. The figure is held in place by rubber bands, but thankfully, no twist ties.

She’s supposed to be in the 6″ scale, but Mattel’s never been able to get their sense of size right. She’s HUGE next to other toys in the scale. She dwarfs Power Girl and the rest of the DC Universe Classics (DCUC) line, even Wonder Woman. She’s even bigger next to the Marvel Legends (ML) crowd.

She comes with quite a few accessories, which adds a point to her in the value department. Many of the MotUC toys I’ve read about only have one or two accessores. Teela has 6.

She comes with a sword and buckler for those everyday days on Eternia. Both are nicely done, with sculpted details on both pieces. The buckler clips on nicely to her forearm. It’s pretty secure, but comes off easily when you want it to. It doesn’t really have any paint, but then it’s a brown leather buckler, so what do you want?

The sword is nicely made, with more work put into it than He-man’s Power Sword. Granted, that sword is iconic and they can’t really tweak it, but that doesn’t mean this one shouldn’t be applauded. The design goes well with either the of her two motifs, the falcon or the snake.

Teela also has the Staff of Ka and a Snake headdress. This is where my wiki-fu and google-jutsu skills run out. I don’t remember why she had a connection to the Snake-men in the MotU lore, but I do remember the original toy and some of the art had the same when I was a kid. In any case. Both look well done and provide an excellent second look for Teela.

The fifth accessory is the extra head that fits into the Snake-Men headdress. You can pop it out and you have Teela adorned with a plain gold helmet. If she was just a skotch smaller and I had a ton of money, she would make a perfect Amazon to put next to Wonder Woman. She can even use the DCUC accessories so I’ve got a few extra gladiator weapons for her, too.

Not to mention this…

The last accessory is Zoar the falcon. In the MOTU mythos (or at least as I remember it), Zoar was an animal form of the Sorceress of Grayskull. In the cartoon, she was Teela’s mother, who gave her up. In the comic I think Teela was a clone of her or something. There was an episode where Zoar the falcon led Man-At-Arms, Teela’s adoptive dad, to her as an infant, which explains why she’s included here.

Even if the toy is a multi-time re-deco of one that’s been included in many sets, it’s still a good one. You’ve seen it in the Wonder Twins pack and with Beast Boy. Still a great looking accessory. They fit on the haft of the Staff of Ka, but sadly not on Teela’s wrist. Unless you’re an ornery bastard who won’t quit until he gets a photo for his review. Then it might cooperate.

Paint is so so. Overall it’s good, the face being clean and sharp especially. But there is some slop around the body, especially where the gold meets the white on her costume. It’s not really a big goof, but for the price Mattel is asking, I’d expect better.

Sculpt-wise she’s pretty near what I remember from my childhood. Maybe not as buxom or voluptuous as some people want, but nice for what she’s supposed to be. I don’t see a lot of female soldiers or atheletes with huge breasts and asses, do you?

I would have preferred her face have a little expression though. It’s a little empty to look at, but then I guess that’s a limit of the technology as well as the design. I doubt they could have put a lot of expression unless it was hand made.

Articulation is pretty good, with a good range of motion that allow her to do some deep stances and dynamic poses. Her foot print is relatively good for a female figure, giving her pretty good stability.

The post that her head sits on is a little long, but that just means that she’s got more clearance to move around. You can’t really see the gap at the back anyway, unless you’re looking for it.

The rest of her is about the same as a DCUC female. She does have a waist swivel, but it’s restricted by her rubberized suit. To tell you the truth, I didn’t really notice the omission until it was pointed out to me. The rest of her is just so impressive to me.

As my first foray into a new line, I gotta say that Teela has me sold on the MotUC toys. While I can’t say that the high price is worth it for all the toys, Teela’s great sculpt and nice assortment of accessories really up the play value, giving you alot of choices of how to display her.

She’s not for everyone, but if you have some extra cash, and have a few 6″ or better yet 7″ barbarians hanging around your display, you should pick one up.

Movie Review: Kick-Ass

04/19/10

Kick-Ass

“Fuck this shit, I’m getting the bazooka!”

That pretty much sums up the aesthetic of Kick-Ass, the latest comic to hit the Silver Screen. Based on the original by writer Mark Millar and artist John Romita Jr., the film isn’t one for subtlety. It rightly deserves it’s R-13 rating and parents should be warned that though there are kids featured in the movie’s marketing pieces, this isn’t a saturday morning cartoon. Unless you watch some of the seedier japanese OAVs on saturday mornings.

Kick-Ass is the story of a New York kid named Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson). He’s a typical high school nobody who begins to wonder why there aren’t any real superheroes and consequently decides to try it out himself. He buys himself a green wetsuit and a mask and goes out to find some bad guys.

Naturally, this being the “real world” and not Earth 616, he gets himself fucked up real good by a pair of car jackers who leave him for dead. To add insult to injury, he’s hit by a car in a weird echo of that HOLY SHIT WAS THAT BRAD PITT?! moment in Meet Joe Black. I probably ruined that for you, didn’t I? You’ll get over it. Any real kid would probably take this as a life lesson and call it a day. Not this kid. No, he shakes out his jew-fro and is back in the mask before you know it.

Now you can probably find the rest of the story online somewhere (*ahem* Wikipedia) but I’m pretty sure you know how it goes. After all, despite how people keep touting this as a comic book movie that turns all other comic book movies on it’s head, it’s not. All the conventions you’ve grown to love from comics and action flicks (wanton violence, harsh invective, and the occasional shot of semi-naked actresses) are still present. Sure there’s the gratuitous dismemberments and copious amounts of fake blood, but it’s nothing on the level of Kill Bill.

Note that it’s nowhere near as bad as some of the other stuff people are watching now. While the movie is bloody, it doesn’t have the same disregard as say the gore-porn movies you see now from Japan or America. Hostel and Ichi the Killer are far more de-sensitizing than this schlock. At it’s core, the movie isn’t any different than Batman or the recent Watchmen. The only difference is that it has kids at the core of it. Kids who say “fuck” and “cunt”.

I was surprised that director Matthew Vaughn could go from Stardust, which was a light-hearted romantic adventure to a knock-down, drag out, balls-in-a-sling, beat down like this. I found out that he was also the director of Layer Cake a few years back, so maybe it wasn’t such a stretch for him. He was producing stuff like Lock, Stock, & Two Smoking Barrels way before his Gaiman adaptation. With that kind of adaptability, I’m definitely keeping my eyes on this guy. He may not be up for any Oscars anytime soon, but he does know how to make a damned entertaining movie.

Nic Cage is probably the low point of the film, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. If you can get past him, you’re halfway to liking this movie. From the comic art, Big Daddy looks like your typical “muscle” hero, someone who knows how to “loom”. Cage doesn’t really sell the “looming”. When he’s on screen, it’s more of a “standing there being dopey looking” than anything else. But then he donned the suit, and his impression of Adam West’s Batman comes out. I thought it was David Caruso from CSI Miami, but it was till funny as hell. Then there’s a fight with some great camera choreography was nice, and knowing how much this guy reveres comics (he named his kid Kal-el), I figure he’s got to love finally getting to play a guy in a cape.

The real draw here is 11 year-old (during the making of the film two years ago) Chloë Moretz as Hit Girl, the cold-blooded sidekick of Big Daddy (Nicolas Cage). Her portrayal of the foul-mouthed little devil is awesome to behold and watching her put holes in bad guys is more satisfying than watching Punisher do it. In fact, she kicks far more ass than the titular character does. When bad guy Frank D’Amico kicks her in the face (that’s right, KICKS AN 11 YEAR-OLD IN THE FACE), you can’t help but wince a bit.

There is definitely an audience for this movie, but it’s not one that is as broad as say Iron Man. Many critics have said that the film is morally reprehensible because of the fact that a young girl apparently has no qualms about killing in cold blood. I don’t agree. How is this different from any other slasher film since the 70’s? From the Saw series? Those characters delight in butchering people. How is it different from any Tarantino film? None of those characters shows any remorse whatsoever. Did you see Stuntman Mike cry over turning Sydney Tamiia Poitier’s face to mush in Death Proof? That was far more graphic than anything shown in this movie, and the character who perpetrated that was far more evil than Hit Girl.

It’s a double standard. We see horror movies and TV shows about serial killers all the time, and no one says boo. Those are the things de-sensitizing us. Does the movie Kick-Ass condone violence, or say that it’s okay to gun down evil-doers? No, I don’t think so. Dave Lizewski is appalled the first time he sees Hit Girl at work. Most of the characters are taken aback by the level of violence these so called heroes employ. The man hitting the girl two paragraphs above is quite obviously a sociopath, and most of the costumed characters, including Moretz’s, seem to have some kind of anti-social disorder. Even Kick-Ass seems a few slices shy of a loaf.

In the end, it’s an 11 year-old blowing away bad guys, walking up walls, and generally doling out cans of whup-ass to the criminal population, and that’s just awesome.