Toy Review: Playmates T-1

Playmates T-1

I’m not a fan of toy manufacturer Playmates. If you read my previous reviews of toys from this toymaker like Terminator Endoskeletons, April O’Neil or Star Trek playsets, there’s a general theme that runs through them; inferior sculpts, general low quality and overly simplistic articulation. The only reason I bought any of the above toys was that they were all in the clearance bin at a tiny fraction of the price they were released at. I heard that when Plamates heard about the success that NECA had with their first set of TMNT figures they decided that they also wanted a piece of the pie and reissued the classic TMNT figures from the 80’s. This basically sums up all that’s wrong with the company.

The reason that NECA had such success was that their figures were UPDATES of the old toys with better sculpts, better articulation, and a ton of accessories. They were perfect for us old farts who remembered (and in some cases still had) the old toys. Collectors didn’t want to buy the old toys again. They were boring and stiff and overly cartoony. If they had re-released the battle wagon, that might have been a different matter. But they didn’t.

They made similar blunders with the Star Trek and Terminator: Salvation lines. Even if the argument here is that these are meant for kids, their overall low quality and boring presentation killed any chance they could have had of capturing a bigger slice of that market pie.

In the photo above you’ll see a selection of the figures Playmates offered in their 6″ line. You basically got figures that belonged in 80’s in terms of joints and sculpt. These toys would have looked right at home next to those re-issued Ninja Turtles. The sad thing is that this is the TERMINATOR franchise we are talking about. It isn’t that hard to put out great product when you have things like Arnold Schwarzenegger’s likeness to work with. The 6″ Terminator: Salvation figures offer no real improvement on sculpt or articulation from their 3.75″ counterparts, other than the fact that Marcus is unmasked here. But then it’s not a very good likeness either. The rest of the 6″ Terminators don’t get any better.

Which brings us to the T-1. According to the tiny insert card on the front, this is the first iteration of the terminator. Basically a Roomba with Gatling guns strapped to it. This toy makes it look just like that. It comes in pieces in the bubble, so “some assembly is required” (how many of you miss that line?).

Sadly, the 6″ T1 isn’t in scale with the other 6″ toys. If you’re pitting them against Joes or Marvel Universe Worlverine, great. Then he’s pretty imposing. Otherwise…

The toy has 4 points of articulation; horizontal swivels on the guns, another ratcheted swivel on the “waist” and a turning back (or front if you want to follow the product photography which looks utterly stupid) tread. wow. That’s pathetic. The least they could have given us was a vertical tilt to the guns.

And by the way, Playmates, why a RATCHETED waist joint? It’s not like that joint will become particularly loose, and even if it did, it would not affect the toy in any way. The thing lays flat on the ground for god sake. The joint doesn’t hold any weight so what was the thinking here?

Another point against is the guns. They connect to the “arms” by attaching to discs that hang beneath them. It works, but you see the disc jutting out from the arm. It’s smacks of a rushed, half-assed design. They could have easily designed this as a ball joint at this scale like any number of Transformers, kept the pop off safety feature to avoid breakage and still increased the mobility of the toys armaments.

Then there’s the abyssmal “mud” brushed onto the treads. It’s awful. Really. I would have preferred they just have left the plasticy gray.

Looking at this thing just aggravates the hell out of me.

So why did I buy him you ask?

Because he was only Php 100.00. That’s insane for a toy that isn’t some chinese knockoff or off brand figurine. That price forgives a lot.

Besides I can still use him as a generic bad robot for what ever 3.75″ figure happens to be decorating my desk at home. And hey, if worse comes to worse, Yoda can go to town.

EDIT 2/24/2010: I forgot to mention 2 things in the above review. Someone told me that the ratcheted joint is an action feature. If you roll the figure across a table, the top portion of the robot turns in a circle. Mine doesn’t work properly (so QA issue?) and the packaging didn’t say a thing about it, so still fail, Playmates.

 The second thing was the “missle” launchers. Just like  the Moto-Terminators, the front portion of the T-1’s gatling guns pop out of the barrel at the touch of a button. This is idiotic. Not only does this not look like a missle, it leaves the gun without that front portion. I’m sure kids might find it neat, but what happens when they lose the projectile? Or when they forget it’s there (the projectile is black, a bit darker then the rest of the toy) and shoot themselves in the eye? They would have been better off slinging a grenade launcher underneath somewhere with a few of those brightly colored missles all the other toy companies love.